Saturday, January 1, 2011

Conversations had by someone somewhere

Hey, we need to talk.
What's up?
Something major has just come up and I really want you in on it.
Ok, let it rip.
No I'm not ready yet.
Umm alright. So why bring it up if you weren't ready to discuss whatever it is you have to discuss?
Just wanted to get you prepared to talk at a later date.
Well that makes no real sense.
Hey, I just didn't want to spring this on you without warning.
Ok well now I've been warned, so what is it?
The timing is off now I'll tell you on Thursday.
Wait, but it's now Friday.
I know
So you are telling me I need to wait for a full week to hear this super amazing news?
Sorry that's just when I think the time will be right again.
Well tell you what. The next time you have the grand idea to pre warn me about whatever DON'T ok?
Geez was just trying to get you ready.
Well now I'm not only ready for whatever it is you are going to say I also have 6 days to get annoyed.
You see annoyance I see preparation
Well I'm not going to be any more prepared then I currently am
Well we will just have to wait and see.
You honestly aren't going to tell me for a week?
Yes I'm sorry you'll just have to wait
You know what just keep it to yourself.
Sorry can't do that
Fine well we will just wait and see if I'm receptive to whatever news you have to tell me.
I'm sure you will
Only time will tell
Yes it will!


John
Yes Deborah
I love you
That's nice
Is that all you have to say, that's nice?
Yup oh and can you pick up some chips for me the next time you go to Safeway?
Wait, you have nothing else to say to me. All you can come up with is a chip order?
Umm, can you also get my soda?
You know what John you are a bastard.
What did I do?
I tell you that I love you and all you can do is place an order like I'm a fucking waitress!
Oh you said I love you? You know how many women tell me I love you on a regular basis?
Umm if it's anyone besides your mama we have a problem.
Hey, I can't help they love my swagger.
You stupid ass punk. Who you been swaggin on?
Swaggin on? Really Deb you just making up shit now ain't you.
Look here punk ass bitch. When a good looking woman you have spent every night with for the last year says I love you don't ignore it.
I didn't ignore it ummm I kind if didn't notice. I mean you say a lot of shit you realize.
So how much of what I say do you honestly listen to?
Huh, wait what were you saying?
Ok fuck you don't call me asshole!
Oh ok babe. Don't forget the chips on your way from work tomorrow. Babe? Deb? What the hell you slam the door for? Man sometimes you are such a bitch you're lucky I love you.

- a look inside the mind of D -

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