Steady thinking

Life is full of challenges & rewards, struggle & pain, triumph & joy. Why must we deal with so much for so long no one knows.  All we know is we have no choice in the matter & it sucks being powerless. I am tired of being trapped in messed up situations. Oh well one day it'll be different right?

a look inside the mind of D

Keep it clean

Though it may be hard you must remain pure; in heart; in mind; in soul. Things & people will attempt to tear you down and wreck your spirit, but you must forge on. You can't allow them the power to destroy you. Fight on and make it right in the end.

a look inside the mind of D

DRAMA: and the people who love it

Like to stay away from BS as much as humanly possible. When the shit his the fan I'm normally two rooms over. How do I do this with such ease, afterall drama is everywhere & often brought upon us by others. I say even with that being the case its easy to avoid. If you are an observer of people; I mean you really watch & pay attention to things going on around you; then you can see stuff coming from a mile away. Don't know where I inherited this talent from, I think it developed over time. Being a shy kid I didn't interact with a lot of people which leaves plenty of time to just sit & observe. Yeah I suppose that means I turned everyday life into a nature documentary.

I have found the older I get the more intriguing the lives of others have become. Only problem these days I get more involved with my "subjects" haha. May seem silly, but any GOOD documentarian would tell you is never bring down the third wall. (now this rule only applies to those not using their film/study/research to push their own personal agendas). As the wall comes down I'm more likely to be caught in the BS & that is the last thing I'd want to do. Getting caught up in the drama of others leaves me confused & annoyed especially if it puts me in the middle of something I have no business of being in. These are the times I pull back shy away from outside contact & hope it can all be resolved peacefully with no need for gun fire or hair pulling.

Drawing back & retreating always sounds like a good plan, but what if the "subjects" are true friends and/or close family, what do you do then?

a look inside the mind of D

a look inside the mind of D

Head Trauma

Ever get a headache so bad you think a bullet through the temple would be a quick relief. Now these headaches aren't necessarily some sort of medical condition or do to anything physical happening to you. No these is attributed to a pain in the neck becoming a pain in the skull. Yes the frustration level is really that high. Nothing can be said and little can be done to change the situation. It is what it IS. 

So many screens so LITTLE patience

So a warning to innocent bystanders back up off me cuz I'm liable to blow. Ok that is all this has been a friendly reminder from your friendly neighborhood maniac

Party Time

The day has come...my first company picnic EVER! I feel all grown & office-y. If only I were paid more. Hope to have fun showing my wife the people I spend everyday with. This is all my life consist of anyway her & them.

That being the case might as well let the two worlds collide.

a look inside the mind of D

Do what it do

How the day went can simply be summed up by one statement, "glad that sit is over". No, everyday of your life can't be a party. There will always be some seriousness and plenty of responsibility. The question is why must that be so. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to be able to kick back & relax for a full day without a care in the world. Oh well someday I'll get there I know it

a look inside the mind of D

Can't get lost if you were never found

Remember when all you needed was a bit of imagination and the world would open up to you like no other? Yes the good old days of youth. Now you look back in amazement at how free and creative you were. You wonder where that imagination has gone. I mean is it something we've lost or does it remain dormant inside? Can it be recaptured or is it simply something we all inevitably grow out of like so many things from our days of youth.
Why are we forced to work for a living? Is a LIVING something that can truly be earned. Wasn't life granted at our birth so why must we toil to make this life bearable? Understandably all things in life can't just be handed out at no cost, but who decided what those things that we should have to earn are and who sets the price for such things. Homes should be granted to all and yet that's not possible as we deemed certain accomodations can only be acquired at a certain price point. It's just a shame life can't be easy like the days of youth. Free and easy then again depends on who you ask for we all didn't share the same experiences after all.
LIFE's a BITCH and then you DO OVERTIME!!!!

Senses

Though you SPEAK the truth you HEAR their lies. You FEEL betrayed by the bitter TASTE left in your mouth by your pride, but it's too late to change the future is set. You should have known the works is filled with idiots.

a look inside the mind of D

Football is here

Fantasy about to start and this can mean only one thing. D's Sports Blog is about to go full swing. Yes there are a few unread posts over the past few months during football's break (it is a SPORTS blog afterall), but this is the time the blog comes alive with insight on the season as well as documenting my feeble attempts at fantasy league domination... I am a reigning champ in 1 of my yahoo leagues so maybe I'm not so feeble. Well check it out should be a good year.

 All my sports knowledge in one place! 

a look inside the mind of D

Just Because

Come tomorrow they will all know my name. Sounds crazy right? Damn action movies have turned this positive message of hope for acceptance into something devious. I mean they could all learn your name through positive interactions with people. Maybe you were just going to introduce yourself around the office, or were supplying the music to the office party that way they will call you DJ what's his name. Thanks to the action genre saying that line will have you more closely linked to a terrorist then a social butterfly. Oh well let's go out to the lobby and buy ourselves some SNACKS.

a look inside the mind of D

Rush of adrenaline

Feel the surge the rush the extreme emotions behind the heightened sense of self. Push yourself to the limit in order to see your true self. Only in times of ultimate struggle do we really see what the human spirit can really endure.

Never allow yourself to get wrapped up in others crap. Let their shit stay with them, cuz you don't need their stink on you. Always enjoy the good in life but don't ignore that there will always be bad.

Well that's enough wisdom for now. Hope all enjoyed.

a look inside the mind of D

Be careful what you wish for

Its not a problem with getting what's coming to you, no the problem is always wanting MORE then what you truly deserve in my opinion. The drive for more is what truly rules us. Our inability to be happy with what's been given will keep us forever down. 

Tomorrow is a brand new day so lets make the most of it.... no damn that lets make the most of TODAY & see if we can't improve on it tomorrow. Living each day to the fullest is an exhausting task and I wish all the peppy people in the world would recognize that fact and back up off me. Screw you some days I just want to chillax at home. Superman didn't save the world EVERYDAY I mean damn!

Someday we will all be free to truly do and say what we want without fear of repercussion. Of course that day will be our last days as so much other random shit will be going on no one will give a care to what you have to do or say. That will be a LONELY and sad time for our spotlight driven masses. I mean what will the Parises and Snookis of the world do when everyone just stops paying attention at the same time. OH man the entire Kardashian empire would crumble. What a world, what a cruel sad world where reality stars get to know how it feels living in everyone Else's REALITY.

What this world has come to

With people like this running around it makes me wonder why "nice guys STILL finish last" I mean really there are some definite creepy crawlies in this world, but your average friendly kind hearted Joe blow can never catch a break. There is just something about the everyday jerk that seems to appeal to the opposite sex. Frankly I just don't get it. Why would you want the guy who treats you like dirt while you look down on the guy who worships you like no other. I suppose it's just one of the great mysteries of life.... or at lest the great mysteries of dating that is. I mean isn't that what it all comes down to anyway? As deep as we wanna say we are or think we are, no matter how wise and clever you find yourself it all comes down to finding/catching/ensnaring/coning/acquiring the one person (or several people depending on your attitude towards monogamy) who makes you feel complete. And for you lucky few, and i do mean FEW, who are 100% sure they are whole all by their lonesome and don't need anyone else to "complete them". Well kudos to you go have a cookie and masturbate in the corner loser I'm talk to the REAL people with REAL feelings.... ASSES.

Here

This is my existence... I'm nothing more then a blank canvas waiting for art to be made of me. A plain wall begging for some form of self expression to be scribbled upon me. The blank page in a notebook awaiting words on wisdom to be jotted down on my FACE!

Or maybe its more like the computer screen blankly being starred at by the man who is attempting to make a living with his thoughts & insights down in word form, thing is he has no clue how to get started & where it will all end.

I guess that's just it the fear of the end can keep someone from ever getting started. Why stay something if it will most likely end horribly? Oh well letting fear rule is no way to live a life....guess I better start something then.

a look inside the mind of D

On the hunt

Searching high & low for a better tomorrow. Each day is a gift so bring on tomorrow. Afterall to yesterday today was tomorrow. 

Laying back taking it all in stride, this life is a quest a journey the ultimate show. Hope that my hopes can bring my dreams to the realm of truths.

a look inside the mind of D

Hot Lava

Entering dangerous territory. Never sure of what's around the corner. In these situations you have to be ready for any & everything. Trust no one because trust allows weakness. But what does weakness really mean? Is caring for your fellow man a sign of weakness or is it the ultimate sign of ones humanity. Us at our purest core. I don't know but I'd rather be weak & loved then hard & hated.

a look inside the mind of D

Cure for the common disaster

Positive outlook, positive life right? Not at all as I see it, then again me seeing it that way could be looked upon as me staying in the negative. I'd hate to be considered a negative influence on the world. Then I think Fuck the World I'm just keeping it real.



a look inside the mind of D

Thoughts are for thinking

So early mornings have given me a new view on life. So many things are different in the wee hours before the sun comes up.  4 am & 4 pm are just 2 totally different animals I swear. Of course it all depends on how you look at things. You would have a totally different view if we were talking staying up til four as opposed to waking up at four.

Ever wonder what random people are truly like behind close doors? Not just what random thoughts pop into their  heads, but who they truly are as a person. What they like & hate about others & themselves. Their turn offs & turn ons, you know what truly makes them tick. Pretty random thought to have about a stranger on the street, but if it gets you through the day I say go on thinking it.

Ever lost hope that hoping would get you through? Ever dream that your dreams would NEVER come true? How many of us have lied about telling a lie? That one is such a double edged sword.

Now these thoughts may seem a bit random at times, but that's ok these are the things that poop up in my head from day to day.


a look inside the mind of D

Sideline guy

"Remember me, Cuz I remember you

Ya used to screw with every fool in my whole crew

Ok that ain't completely true, Cuz I never got none no matter what for you I would do

Yes yes  boo I'm still down for you

Guess I'm dumb you got me sprung and don't know what I'm gonna do."

Guess it's the story of a guy sad enough to make you cry, cuz he don't know why the object of his eye keep passing him by paying him no mind when it comes to his affections she is his obsession this life got him stressing and he don't know if he can go on.

"Hello dear, can I grab your ear? Draw you in near cuz I have stuff to say. Listen up your boy has had enough finally getting tough and the games end today. Ain't gonna be a bitch take me off your list of the sorry ass pricks who you don't even see with your eyes. Hey don't cry, you'll find another guy. He'll do everything to try to get between your thighs and he'll always wonder why no matter how hard he tries you do nothing but cry when you see me go by with a girl who never lie. She will quickly grow in my heart from the start cuz you aren't there to block the feelings I'd be feeling all the while you'll be reeling wondering where I've gone. Think I'd miss you girl? you'd be wrong. So I'm saying to you so long this is our closing song just remember you were wrong to never take off that thong when I offered you this dong after all I'd done. What think I'm a jerk? That may be fair but you'll be pulling out your hair when you learn what you missed. It only takes one kiss! So I'm leaving you with this. Stop grabbing on my wrist, don't care that you've never been dismissed. Oh now you offer me a tryst? It's too late miss, but now I'm kinda pissed. Why oh why I wish I had said this all earlier. Would've made your toes curlier with all the things I could do. Oh well boo hoo. You and me the "friendship" is through nothing you can do. Lesson has been learned I would've stayed stern if I had known that could've got you oh well maybe not you. But I'll use it on the next cuz I'm seeking more then sex but you would've been nothing but a screw & I'd forget about you... So with that I'm through do believe me you're screwed cuz I'm walking out your life and all you'll be left with are your boo hoos

a look inside the mind of D

Sense of self

Lets run down a quick list:

Stubborn

Selfish

Funny

Moody

Easily Distracted

Can be needy

Refuses help

Random sense of humor

Affectionate

No shame

Loveable

No filter

Puts the wrong people first

Very hot & cold

Slow to pick up on signs

To trusting

Harsh

Laid back

Distant

Low self esteem

Flirtatious

Passive

Always goes for the laugh, no matter the situation

Plays the victim

Dedicated

Hard working

Friendly

Out of shape

Critical

People person

Fun loving

Tech addict

Lazy

Corny

Interesting

Sure I'm missing a lot and probably was a bit harsh on myself, but can't change the negatives if you over focus on the positives.

a look inside the mind of D

Numbers

My crew my troop my gang my posse

All my homies stay shining like Ted Dibiase

We all got swag so strong we can't help y'all be hating cuz you can't help yourselves

You see our style our girls our demeanor

Then you start wilding out like Stinkmeanor

Yeah that's right I'm referencing the Boondocks cuz my homies are definitely from the school of hard knocks.

Nah I'm a lie, my life ain't been hard sent to the schools that taught me how to praise the Lord

That's alright though my folks got religion

Don't get us wrong don't think we ain't up to sinning

So once again never doubt me & my boys, hell even our girls are down to make noise

Don't know don't ask and I won't be forced to tell. Ooh I love this life and all of you as well.

a look inside the mind of D