Friday, August 17, 2012

early in life I came to recognize I was a loser in love


ContraCostaCountyBlackBoyProblems
OK it’s time for a brief rundown of why I am the way I am. Let’s just say growing up Black in CoCO County (Contra Costa County for all you non norcal people) made dating life a little different then most experienced. Also being incredibly shy didn’t help none either haha
2nd Grade Antioch, CA: Antioch taught me a lot about life. Like how to have fun when your backyard consists of one giant hill with cows directly behind your backyard fence. It also taught me the lesson of if you have a neighbor a year older then you and who is an exhibitionist you would be crazy not to jump at the chance to be near them. She was my first kiss, first make out, and first naked female body all wrapped into one. HA her brother thought i was HIS bestfriend but anyone with sense knows I only hung out with him to be with her. Man girls had a distinct power over me from an early age.
5th Grade Concord, CA: My first real crush and first real heart break. She was the ultimate tomboy which at that point i found AWESOME. We hung out during breaks and could talk sports, wrestling and everything else that would make you assume a girl gay but we were too young to be concerned about that. Turns out she liked me to at least thats what a friend of her friend told my friend to tell me (Come on who doesn’t miss childhood communications haha). I did get around to asking her myself and her affection for me was confirmed. Then the evil that was my father made me transfer schools. Didn’t see the girl for another 2 years and by that time we had grown and boyhood crush became distant memory
6th Grade Concord, CA: First REAL girlfriend ever acquired at my new most memorable school. We talked all the time and raised our parents phone bills. She told me of how her lovely super white mother had fantasies of killing me as my blackness was somehow ruining her daughter. We never kissed never hugged barely held hands but we were IN LOVE (ok the no touching thing could be blamed on my uptight super christian private school having a STRICT no PDA policy. YAY Tabernacle) It was 3 months of togetherness followed by a sudden devastating break up caused by her wanting to date someone her parents were probably happy with. I don’t know what the reason, but its funny for years i considered it my first heartbreak. Broken hearted from a girl i never touched and never saw outside of school. Oh young love haha
7th Grade Yes Still Concord, CA: Once again no PDA out of this one but a better connection with longer phone calls. Lasted a week and few people knew about us dating really. Actually it was probably more then a week, but as we never established ENDING it I just always assume it was a week. Frankly it could have been longer she left school because of her ghetto ass sister starting brawls (uptight christian schools don’t enjoy burly white girls who attempt to live the la vida loca life). This one probably had the best conversations together, but I remember so little about her besides her first name and hairstyle. Is that weird?
8th Grade Final year in concord, CA well kinda: No girlfriend but did enjoy my first date ever. She was easily one of the best looking girls in school and to this day probably the most popular. Why she said yes to me is still a mystery. I assumed in order to either A. Piss off her parents or B. expand her dating profile by adding the only eligible black candidate in school. It was fun, but looking back I should’ve cleaned up with the ladies in that school. I was adorable too bad I was far to shy to speak to most of them in any kind of serious way.
HIGH SCHOOL  1year Concord 3years Oakland: Let us end this dating adventure with a run down of high school relationships…. WHAT RELATIONSHIPS? ok i did have 2 instances of something. 1 concord date that I considered taking a friend from Jr High to the first dance of the year, but others looked on as if that made us a couple. Some couple one dance with no dancing or pictures together. She went with her friends I went with mine but some guys from my class were still incredibly jealous of me. I found this odd as she wasn’t even remotely cute to me. Then 3 years in Oakland contain 1 girlfriend who looking back on it existed simply because no one else was showing either one of us interest. Jr and Sr year with the same person out of the sake of not being alone in high school. Sure it was great but it was high school. Like all things in high school it comes it goes and in between its fake and meaningless.

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