Things are hectic these days. People the world over have flocked to this little diner in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania for the answer to the universal religious question WHAT WOULD JESUS EAT (WWJE..llo).
The second coming was nothing like the scriptures foretold, in fact it wouldn't have happened at all if this new wave a celebrity chefs and cheftestants using his name in vein. No not the Goddamns or the Jesus Christs when being cut (either physically or ejected from competition). In fact HE could care less about our so called curses, he finds them funny really. No, the issue he had was everyone praising this or that about their food their cuisine their pallets. You've seen the shirts "So good even Jesus would bow down" "Recipes only the Lord could've made, until now" "good food blesses the world, Duck what ya heard".
These sayings and slogans these ideals of superiority they rang loud on high and brought on great disgust from all the angels the apostles and the big man himself. These people all had to stop and it was obvious only the holy one can do it.
Jesus would return to put a stop to these acts of insanity by all of food reality society. Yes we all knew reality television would be the destruction of us all and here it is. From the holy beyond the Lord made his epic return and brought with him the truest contest the world has ever seen. For all those so called Holy Cooks the challenge has been made. To save humanity you must impress the Holy one and if we fail the end shall come. So ladies and gentleman let the games begin, brought to you by the one and only church with your host Ryan Seacrest (well Kirk Cameron was invited but frankly Jesus found him abrasive).
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